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The Short Story of "Jo Sappho"
by PepBella@aol.com
"I'm not certain how I got here. I'm thirty-two, a single parent. And it's not that I can't commit. I'm not sure how. How to show my two year old (son) something I've never seen, never touched nor smelt beyond the tears in my hand or the fetal position that embraces me at night. You may ask, what is she talking about? Sappho…love. That unlimited selflessness, beyond control and possession. Something so free, and innocent…."
Jo Sappho, born September 1, 1969. Raised in Queens, New York. Parents divorced in 1972 due to a paternal affair that results in the birth of another daughter.
Sappho's Mother, striving to complete her education in Theology meets
a married man whose wife and friends arrive her Rochdale Village apartment
ready, willing and able to defend her home, until the rifle goes off.
The pressure of single parenthood becomes too much to face alone, so
Sappho's Mother marries a man only to find that he is possessive enough
to quit her job, purchase a washboard for laundry and install an extra
phone line in the basement to eavesdrop on her new romance. The Swirl.
Swirl, an architect purchases a karat or more, but Sappho's Mom leaves
him. Eventually. His ex-wife and their children can't appreciate Chocolate,
or Caramel for that matter.
"You see, I am of a lighter complexion than my parents. If you asked my Mother's younger Brother and Sister, they would tell you I was adopted, just like my Father. But then these are the same two people who babysat me as Doctor and Nurse, sticking me with gold safety pins from the cleaners as not to tell. It seems like yesterday when they tied me in the garage, forgot about me. Closed the door and went to band/cheerleading practice."
Sappho's Father, upon the divorce, moves back to his Mother's house
and lives there for 16 years before he remarries. Tries to make the
new marriage work for 8 years or more, and when it doesn't, he returns
to his Mother.
"Their breakup was in-part due to a lie. He lied about his age,
never told her he had children, least to say as old as my sister and
I. His wife was not much older than us and too she felt cheated, trying
to heal from her childhood waiting for that man we always hear about
in fairy tales. She wanted children, he had children. Hell, I can't
recall meeting her before the dinner announcement, anyway."
Sappho lived with her Mother's eldest sister in Brooklyn for the entire
third grade. She learns how to fight as not to get beat up on by her
cousins. Only sees her Mom on the weekends who comes accompanied with
her Stepfather. The same man who would cause her to get beat with a
loaf of bread or dangled out the 10th Floor apartment window for not
saying "Good Morning". Sappho got caught playing with matches
and he repeatedly struck her in front of her Mother. Another episode
of distorted love etched in memory.
Sappho loses her virginity at 13. Becomes pregnant multiple times to fill the void of love. She is raped her first year of high school and that results in a miscarriage with no D & C. She is too young and too afraid to "embarrass the family" so there are multiple financial burdens that her Mother chooses to bear. Constantly pressured by "men ain't shit" once her Mother decides to become single Sappho must carry the financial weight to balance the lack of no man being around.
In 1999 Sappho becomes a parent. She was financially secure and lost it all based upon survival. She was dating a woman at the time and, "I guess to approach your lover and ask for assistance with a pregnancy test, well that's bound to change the relationship." After two years and sacrificing three jobs, she knows that the judicial system will never award her the money due from her son's Father. He is still cashing his check off the books supporting all other children but this one. Six weeks into her pregnancy he said he would give her the money for an abortion. When next he rang her bell, there was no forwarding address.
"I'm not sure if I learned how relocate and re-build from the military, or by watching the dealers on the street or if it is genetically inclined. Again, it seems that my happiness for Sappho love remains incomplete. About three weeks ago I met this man. Intellectually stimulating. Three jobs. Two motorcycles. Just put down on a house in Suffolk County. Told me he was twenty-seven. He is twenty-three. I sent him some letters that I thought he received, until that lady came and knocked on my door. Wish I knew her before I had my Last Will and Testament revised with the Prenuptial Agreement. Figured we'd marry for a year and then if it worked, publicly announce and remarry the same day. If not, get an Annulment and move on with no less than what I brought to the table. You can't imagine how surprised I was this twenty-one year old confessed to the Federal Offense of opening his mail, with "I'm seven months pregnant with his child".
"…The turn of events and pain I have endured is to reveal the unspoken taboo. My poetry, my ideas, and the essence that I as urban poet have and will always continue to love women no more and no less than my passion for writing. Not for the failure to find a love to nurture and protect but I only know how to me be - with no regrets. If God wanted me to be with a man, I trust that Universe would have sent one."
"I date women, knowing there is no reproductive future beyond
the Bi in bye-bye. But I need to be touched. To hear a heartbeat other
than my own. When men are incarcerated to control population, and the
players are free to choose and trap for game you either have "young
stamina or old shoe polish". I can't say that I am truly satisfied
or disappointed. I can only admit that I am Jo Sappho.
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